To find the secret level in CQ3....

[75]

The computer replies "complete the following statement... 'In America, you drive car, in soviet russia..."

[koolgool]

... the car drives..." Quickly shout into your mic before he lists the multiple choices. The answer is, "YOU!" Be sure to articulate or the game won't recognize what you've said. This is especially hard if you have a southern accent, as You tends to sound more like Yew. Once the text-based Chex Quest is active, type "East" then, "East" again, then type it two more times. Finally, type "Always into the East." You will suddenly start moving rapidly eastward until you...

[matthias720]

...find yourself in a maze of twisty-turny passages.  You then must say the magic word "PLUGH" and wave the black rod while you do this.  After doing this, you'll find yourself in the hall of the mountain king.  Drop the rod, and then open the wicker cage and releasing the plover inside.  After the plover has driven off the giant snake, you proceed north to find...

[koolgool]

... el Diablo! El diablo dice, "No me gusta practicar deportes!" El R

[75]

But then an old 50s tune starts playing and you get transported immediately to the title screen, a new episode will now appear in the "new game" submenu

That episode is...

[Batmanifestdestiny]

"Days of Our Chex" - It's a cheesy Soap Opera episode!!

You must start the episode, and then walk down the hall into the bedroom, with your Fiancee(that's already married to another man) pointing a zorcher at you!  You must then...

[75]

Pretend to be your own evil twin. He will shoot you but it won't make any difference.

The real you should then walk in the door. At this point everyone, including your fiancee and her husband start singing "DING DONG THE WITCH IS DEAD!"

During this merriment, you need to

[75]

... go out into the road of E2M1, there will be a box of minizorch ammo, but it actually is a box of gushers

Take out your bootspoon, press 1 over and over again and eventually it will come up with a gusher in Chexter's right hand

If you press fire, Chexter will fling gushers with the spoon! You then need to go over to the wall that says "diner" and cover it with nasty sticky gushers.

After this... you must

[Batmanifestdestiny]

...Press E at the diner chef, to pick him up!  After picking him up, you must carry him to the gusher-wall and...

[Datra]

...Press E again to stick him to the wall. the gusher-wall will then open up revealing...

[GameMaster]

......Rick Astley will pop out and rickroll you!

[75]

When this happens you must press TAUNT 900 times, as fast as you can. HURRY because the Rickroll is deadly to chexter, and he can't stand more than a few minutes of it.

After hitting taunt enough times, Chexter will start to dance. The more you push it the better he dances.

On the 900th time, Ricky will walk off and turn off the song, having been outdanced by a piece of cereal.

The passage is now open to you! You proceed into the dungeon...

[The Slimeinator]

...and encounter Barinade, King Dodongo, and Gohma simultaneously! All are immune to zorchers, so you must create a pancake out of dirt and use it to...

[linuxlove]

make a new zorcher. Afterwords, you have to zorch everyone and find the floppy disk...

[75]

You found it! It's just lying there on the ground... wierd

you pick it up, it says... "I'm a two force member!"

does it say anything else?

... ... ...

nope

hmmm.... chexter takes out his zorch screwdriver and pries it open, instead of a floppy plastic doughnut inside, it has a...