Steal the Cookie 2: The Sequel!

[darkstone]

HAHAHA right up my alley.
I fly my starship to the Borg vessel and remotely take control of the cortical nodes of two drones (don't care if it would work in-canon or not), and direct them to find the cookie and teleport it to my ship. Then I hide it in the cargo bay using transporter suspension, like Janeway did with all her telepathic crew members to hide them from the Devore in that one Voyager episode.
See here, for the non-Trekkies:
http://en.memory-alpha.org/wiki/Counterpoint_(episode)

[Awesomedude249]

I use Cheezburger again.
Then I hide the cookie in Chuck Norris's shirt, you will be roundhouse kicked if you try to get the cookie.

[Boingo the Clown]

I tell Chuck Norris there is a Republican fundraiser coming up.  When Chuck Norris changes his shirt for the first time in over a month, I snatch it from the laundry hamper.  (It is lucky the cookie is indestructable and can be washed off.)  After a week of picking the hairs out, the cookie is okay.

I disguise the cookie as a gumball and hide it in one of the many thousands of gumball machines in the "Johnny Lethbridge Gumball Museum"'s 53 acre compound in Westbrook Tennessee, being careful to steal all the nickels first.

[Drwalrustein]

I used a cookie magnet to attract the cookie and put it in a dumpster so disgusting no one would go.

[Boingo the Clown]

I use the cookie magnet to remove the cookie from the dumpster.  I then destroy the cookie magnet in a furnace so it can never be used again.

I encase the cookie in an 18 inch ball of silicon cardbide and place it at the centre of an operating nuclear reactor.  George W. Bush is confused, so I explain I meant "nuculer".

[The Doctor]

I hire a band of environment activists to dismantle the nuclear reactor (making sure they are properly suited for the job with radiation suits and all). From there I simply use a diamond cutter to cut into the orb, therefore leaving the cookie for me.

I then put it in the TARDIS, into which nobody can go without permission from The Doctor. Mwahaha!

[Awesomedude249]

I kill the doctor 12 more times. I go into the TARDIS, travel to 1 second forward a mile away from The Dead Doctor, then I hide the cookie in with 1,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 (1 tridecillion) other cookies that are virtually indistinguishable from the original, have the exact same name, ID, chocolate chip array, dough crumbliness, amount of butter, etc.

[Boingo the Clown]

I call upon Ceres, goddess of the harvest, who knows every grain of corn ever to grow.  She easily identifies the flour in the cookie and extracts the true cookie from the imposters.

I place a pellet of radioactive cobalt in the centre of the cookie, making it deadly for anyone to come withing 500 yards of it.

[Awesomedude249]

I use a cobalt magnet to extract the cobalt from the cookie. I then pick up the cookie, and take out all the ingredients. Now you have to rebake the cookie!

[Boingo the Clown]

Doesn't count.  Check the rules.  The cookie is indestructable.

[Awesomedude249]

Fine. I destroy Boingo, then I cover the cookie in my saliva by putting it into my mouth and taking it out.

[darkstone]

Ewww! I use a selective teleporter to teleport all your saliva off the cookie, and into a garbage can. Then I use that teleporter first to teleport the cookie to Niederschlettenbach, then to teleport you to Gervais, OR.

[Awesomedude249]

I teleport to Niederschlettenbach, and grab the cookie where it is very open and obtainable. Then I hide the cookie in a sector full of the enemy type "Snotfolus".

[noob1234]

I obtain a liquid zorcher with unlimited ammo. The cookie is... indestructable, but not unzorchable! Oh noes!
Well, technically, I touched it last, so it's mine. It's hidden somewhere in the flemoid dimension.

[Drwalrustein]

I then get all the DooM monsters to fight the flemoids in the dimension after an epic fight the monsters are victorious and destroyed the flemoid dimension. I get the cookie an put it in the Sun.