Steal the Cookie 2: The Sequel!

[Boingo the Clown]

I zorch the flemoid away, then present the cookie to Shao Khan in exchange for ruling the Netherrealm.

[Awesomedude249]

Then I beat Shao Kahn in MKII, and I steal the cookie from him. Then I hide the cookie in the audience in the back of Kahn's Arena from MKII

[Boingo the Clown]

I defeat Scorpion.  While the audience claps, I sneak around and steal the cookie.

I then hide the cookie in a box.

Then I hide the box inside a box.

Then I hide that box inside a box of boxes.

Then I hide the box of boxes inside a box of boxes of boxes.

Then I hide the box of boxes of boxes inside a boxing ring.

Then I hide the boxing ring inside a ring of boxing rings

on Boxing day.

[Awesomedude249]

I create a new cookie magnet and use it to attract the cookie. Then I enable noclip and hide the cookie in one of the hard to find secret walls in CQ's Storage Facility.

[Boingo the Clown]

I retrieve the cookie with DooMbuilder.

I spirit the cookie away to a wrinkle in time.

[Awesomedude249]

I use the Cookie TARDIS to retrieve it, and simply hide the cookie inside a porta-potty so disgusting not even a cookie magnet wants to retrieve the cookie from it.

[Boingo the Clown]

I hire the Daleks to fetch the cookie. (Daleks have no noses) (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Do-wDPoC6GM)

I then hide the cookie within the Ubercookie fortress guarded by the frightful monster of Zaz.

[Awesomedude249]

I get the monster of Zaz's father to ground him for three million years for stealing a poor, innocent child's cookie.
I then proceed to repeatedly teleport the cookie to random locations with a teleporter that creates NO metadata or history so you can't discover the cookie's last location. HA!

[Boingo the Clown]

I just happen to be  flying in a space ship equipped with Infinite Improbability Drive. Since finding the cookie when it repeatedly teleports to random locations with a teleporter that creates NO metadata or history so you can't discover the cookie's last location is incredibly improbable, it is guaranteed  to appear inside the ship.

I take the cookie to the planet of Kartheirion Snorfblaz, in the constellation Fennick, as seen from Gawron Festis II in late summer when the second sun is below the horizon, and place it on a special pedestal in full view of all, but invisible to those who want to steel it, and surround it with viscious razor jawed Galvernian ewe ewes.

[Drwalrustein]

I use cookie monster who can find any cookie in the universe. I hide cookie in a flaming jar.

[Awesomedude249]

I smash the jar and dump water on the fire. Easy peasy.
I hide the cookie with Moe the bipedicus who will slime ANYONE who tries to retrieve the cookie at ANY cost.

[Boingo the Clown]

I easily defeat Moe the bipedicus with the only thing more slimey than a flemoid--a Republican presidential candidate.

I hide the cookie in a beautiful field of flowers.

[Awesomedude249]

Pfft. Easy, I grab the cookie then put it in a plasma ball which will electricute you if you try to get the cookie. You also can't turn it off.

[Replica]

I use rubber gloves to pull the cookie out of the plasma ball without being electrocuted.

I hide the cookie in a hay stack, along with a needle.

[Boingo the Clown]

I wait for Tommy Chong to get the munchies, and promise him a bag of Doritos in exchange for the cookie.  I also hire a heroin addict to find the needle.  The haystack is reduced to ruins, and both are found quickly.

With cookie in hand, I sail to to distant Nordkapp in Finnmark. There, in the barrows of Gjesvær, I entomb the cookie with the fallen Æsir elders of ages past, surrounded by fierce Jötnar with stoney clubs and frost for breath and blood.  The Allfather looks down upon the cookie from Asgard and spake unto the giants of the northern barrows, "Guard well this cookie with all life within you, O wretched Jötnar, or thou shalt feel the fury and wrath of the Æsir, and Hel will feast on your bones!"

The giants tremble, and steel themselves for battle.

As a precaution, Odin sends Thor to guard the cookie as well.  Thor does not like the giants, but obeys the Alfather's will, and raises his mighty hammer to destroy any and all who dare approach the cookie, except me, because ... well ... it's my cookie.