Author Topic: The Groaner Thread, New Edition  (Read 3699 times)

Offline Boingo the Clown

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Re: The Groaner Thread, New Edition
« Reply #15 on: November 19, 2020, 11:24:53 PM »
Q.

 If a hipster wears a man bun, what does German royalty wear?


A.

 A Kaiser roll.

Offline Super Searcher

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Re: The Groaner Thread, New Edition
« Reply #16 on: January 18, 2021, 10:56:57 PM »
What's this? I come back from the void to find a new thread devoted to horrible puns? I must have sensed it..

Anyway, here's a joke dump I've accumulated over the eras:

I was walking through a parking lot, when i saw a plastic bottle cap with two little plastic
hands on it. And I thought to myself, "does that count as a handy-cap spot?"

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Did you hear that some Arab Countries have outlawed the tally scoring system?

They're calling it the tally-ban.
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Did you hear Nicolas Cage almost fought his Father in a wrestling match in the 90's? It was supposed to be the world's first Cage match.
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Did you hear about the commercial truck driver who makes chocolate candy with his partner on the road between stops?

Know what they call their candies? "Semi Sweet Chocolates."
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Q: How does a used car salesman get his exercise?

A: With car deal.
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Q: What do trucks practice when they put on a play?

A: Pickup lines.

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Q: Do you know what a self-checkout is?

A: It's when you stand in front of a mirror and say "hey, I look good!"

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Did you know in Star Trek, Spock once witnessed an unusual rock that rolled UP a mountain against gravity? After which he said to Captain Kirk who also saw what happened: "Captain, that was not very geo-logical."

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Q: What do you call a friar made out of doritos?
A: A chip-monk
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Q: What do you call two doctors?
A: A para-docs.
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The first Native American game show was called: "You Don't Know Squanto."
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How to give a good back massage is a touchy subject.

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Did you hear about the FBI arresting that carpenter who's accused of print money? They say they caught him counter-fitting.

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Q: Who represents the bike shop?

A: The spokesman.

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A group of monk initiates went on a camping trip.

At night they huddled around the camp friar.

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Q: What type of suit gets you the most hugs and kisses?

A: An XO Suit

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How much do 206 bones weigh? A skele-ton

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If you learn sculpting, you could make 6 figures easily.

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I knew a guy who used to sit in the Hobby Lobby waiting area just for fun and recreation.

He called it his Hobby-Lobby-Lobby-Hobby.

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I prefer butter over that other stuff. Because with that other stuff there’s always a margarine for error.

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Q: How is this joke similar to catching a frisbee that was thrown around the world?

A: You'll get it eventually.
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This week in science: Some guys have created a plant that can generate electricity. It's called a power plant.

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When buying spices, especially thyme. Always choose the third one you see, it's supposed to bring good luck.

You know, the third thyme's a charm.

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Before noon I always feel sad, almost like I'm in morning.

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Did you hear the mafia have a new leader who's a lizard?

He's their new Iguana-Don

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I was reading a recent study done on different ant species, scientists have discovered that smaller ant species' grow toes, while larger and taller ants do not. Scientists theorized this may also tie in with larger ant's being allergic to milk. Seeing as they lack toes in taller ants.
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That is all, *moon walks out the door*
The creator of "A Miner Catastrophe". http://www.chexquest.org/index.php?board=43.0

Hey guys look! Its a giant mushroom, maybe its friendly! :D

Offline Boingo the Clown

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Re: The Groaner Thread, New Edition
« Reply #17 on: January 19, 2021, 12:47:12 PM »
Just a reminder that all the jokes have to be ones you made up yourself.

Offline Boingo the Clown

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Re: The Groaner Thread, New Edition
« Reply #18 on: February 15, 2021, 09:34:31 PM »
Q. Do you know where Des Moines is?

A. Yes.  It's where you dig up des ore to put in des smelter.

 


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