Building A Giant Robot Without Instructions

[Boingo the Clown]

I ordered a giant mecha robot kit from Japan the other day.

So I went down to the dock where a container ship just came in to port.

I asked the customs agent, "Which cargo container contains my giant robot kit?"

He said, "All of them."

It took me a few days, but I finally got all the cargo containers home.

Thats' a lot of parts.

There is just one problem.

They forgot to send me the instruction manual.

Can you help me build my giant robot?

Please hurry. The police are mad at me, because the 200 foot long electro sword is blocking the intersection.

[TrueDude]

Glad to hear you imported. American-made giant robots are riddled with issues and have a shorter lifespan. (I hear IKEA makes pretty nice replacement parts for Japanese robots, though, in case you ever have an issue)

Have you made sure to check that all the parts have come in? When I made my first giant robot I mistakenly didn't order the lower torso... Let's just say you look a lot less intimidating when your robots elbows are below the knees.

[Boingo the Clown]

I tried making a robot from IKEA, but I hate particleboard, and I lost the allen key.

I open the first container and find a huge piece of curved steel painted in metal flake candy apple red.  I believe it is part of the upper of one of the feet.  I drag it to the front of the yard using my neighbour's truck.

What next?

[Awesomedude249]

Smash it with a hammer, then glue the tiny shards to all of the other pieces. Repeat this process until all pieces are covered.

[Boingo the Clown]

I am completely out of glue, but I have plenty of scotch tape left over from Christmas.

I begin taping pieces together.

[Awesomedude249]

Good. Next, cover the robot in a thin layer of chocolate.

[Boingo the Clown]

Lick the chocolat off and apply children's stickers from the dollar store.

[Nomekop]

Okay, attach the drill to point D69. Yes, I'm positive that is where the giant drill is supposed to go.

[Boingo the Clown]

I believe part 416-87-B is supposed to be a thumb.

[Boingo the Clown]

Apply oil from supplied packet F-27B to messticulator joints marked H-14 (12).