Author Topic: The Groaner Thread, New Edition  (Read 1038 times)

Offline Boingo the Clown

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The Groaner Thread, New Edition
« on: March 25, 2019, 11:53:06 PM »
About a year before New DooM shut down, I created a thread called "The Groaner Thread" for users to write down their own original jokes and funny stories.

In honour of that thread, I am going to start a new thread to do more of the same.

There are only two rules (aside from the usual rules of this forum):

1.) Each joke must be an original joke  by you--NOT a joke you heard on TV or heard from one of your friends.  It must be one of your own.

2.) It must be a groaner.

Okay?

Are you ready?

Here goes!


  • Today I made a flower necklace out of corn chips.
    I call it my "Frito Lay".


  • Q. How many times did the German man say "No"?

    A. Nine.


  • Conan got tired of swinging a sword around and decided to go to hairdressing school.
    Now he's Conan the barber.


  • Q. Why was the boat upside down in the hat shop?

    A. He was getting his cap sized.



Knock yourselves out!

Chex Quest Fan Forums

The Groaner Thread, New Edition
« on: March 25, 2019, 11:53:06 PM »

Offline ChelonianEgghead

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Re: The Groaner Thread, New Edition
« Reply #1 on: April 10, 2019, 08:57:51 PM »
What do you call someone who does massages for a living? A massage-ynist.
Remind me — Avengers Infinite Warfare was about the Justice League teaming up with the Galaxy Quest crew to stop that Thanos guy from Fortnite from collecting the 7 chaos emeralds and activating the Ark, right? Really is the boldest crossover in film history.

Offline Boingo the Clown

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Re: The Groaner Thread, New Edition
« Reply #2 on: June 03, 2019, 03:57:28 PM »
Q.  What is the best US state to greet a Japanese person in?

A.  Ohio.

Offline Boingo the Clown

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Re: The Groaner Thread, New Edition
« Reply #3 on: June 07, 2019, 10:02:47 AM »
Q.) What do you call a wig made for a Chinese dog?

A.) A sharpei toupé.
« Last Edit: June 08, 2019, 10:16:56 AM by Boingo the Clown »

Offline Boingo the Clown

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Re: The Groaner Thread, New Edition
« Reply #4 on: June 23, 2019, 11:58:52 PM »
After several days of internet communication, I finally scored a date with a girl named "Anne Udda".

I got on the bus on the appointed day, and headed across town to meet her.  I was very nervous.  When I reached the stop, I was horrified to discover that my nervous sweat had caused the ink on the directions to smear.  The address I was supposed to meet Anne at was almost completely illegible.

I squinted and looked as carefully as I could at the address.  "253" perhaps?

I drew a deep breath, plucked up my courage, and strode boldy up on to the porch of the house marked "253".

A large middle-aged man confronted me.

"What are you doing here?" he growled.

"I'm looking for a girl." I said.

"There ain't no girl here." said the man.  "You've come to the wrong place.  Now get out!"

"But I'm certain this is her address." I said.  "We have a date."

"I SAID 'GET OUT'!" Hollered the man angrily.

He then punched me squarely in the face.  The blow was like a freight train.  It hit me so hard it knocked me off my heels. I fell backwards off the porch , and landed hard, sprawling on the walkway.

The man looked down at me and shouted, "AND DON'T YOU EVER COME BACK UNLESS YOU'RE LOOKING FOR ANNE UDDA!"

Hearing this, I leapt back up to my feet.

"Yes! Yes!" I said excitedly.  "I'm looking for Anne Udda!  I'm looking for Anne Udda!"

He hit me again.
« Last Edit: June 24, 2019, 12:25:37 AM by Boingo the Clown »

Offline Boingo the Clown

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Re: The Groaner Thread, New Edition
« Reply #5 on: July 14, 2019, 05:14:31 PM »
Q.

Why does the Titanic shiver?


A.

It's a nervous wreck.

Offline ChelonianEgghead

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Re: The Groaner Thread, New Edition
« Reply #6 on: July 24, 2019, 12:45:14 AM »
Q). What did Aunt Beru tell Luke whenever he ate with his knife?

A). Use the fork, Luke!

Although I doubt I'm the first go come up with that.
Remind me — Avengers Infinite Warfare was about the Justice League teaming up with the Galaxy Quest crew to stop that Thanos guy from Fortnite from collecting the 7 chaos emeralds and activating the Ark, right? Really is the boldest crossover in film history.

Offline Boingo the Clown

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Re: The Groaner Thread, New Edition
« Reply #7 on: August 23, 2019, 12:23:44 AM »
I managed to make a weapon out of old computer parts.

I made a USBB gun.

Offline Boingo the Clown

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Re: The Groaner Thread, New Edition
« Reply #8 on: October 06, 2019, 04:52:07 PM »
Q.

 What do you call presidential assistants who are not allowed in the club anymore?


A.

 Banned aides.
« Last Edit: October 07, 2019, 07:16:57 PM by Boingo the Clown »

 


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